Since 2008 I’ve been playing capoeira.
It is. The hardest motherfucking hobby i’ve ever done in my life.
No joke, not even playing a cello solo in a muito grande concert hall was as hard as this. ( the cello has no buttons. Its you, some wood and four strings. Good luck.)
Training. I go 3-4 days a week, kicking, dodging and singing…always hoping to land some ridiculous cirque-du-soleil like feat..usually with repeated failure.
Aesthetics. My once beautiful feet look like that of Gollum from Lord of the Rings and my shiny new engagement ring is bent into an egg-like shape from repeated queda-de-rins and slamming to the floor to avoid being swatted to the ground by my superiors.
Leisure time. My vacations have now become quests for the closest capoeira center where in most cases, i will end up missing social dinners as the majority of scheduled class times are during prime evening supper (and thus, socializing) hours.
Meals. A calculated amount of good clean food must be consumed at least 2.5-3 hours prior to cap time.
Because:
A) I need food for energy..healthy food. Bad fuel will make me feel slow and sluggish. Not to mention a dip in energy level.
B) Eating anywhere too close to gametime can result in: major flatulence, and/or nausea during training. No one wants to smell your wind or see your morning pancakes in the middle of an armada.
C) Eating too early means a dead battery in the middle/end of class. Energy is especially importante during roda time. Would you enjoy sexy time without lube? I think not.
Odd eating habits like this also means missing brunch, as brunch is normally defined as: consuming the largest amount of unhealthy food for a minimum of 2 hours while chatting it up with compadres. Hasta la vista social life. (if they are however, willing to adhere to your strict requirements of size, timing and type of brunch…it can still happen. I define these people as True Friends. LOL)
In addition to food, i’ve learned to gulp water in an attractive camel-like fashion that would deem me the winner of any international beer chugging contest.
Happy hour on class days. What happy hour? Don’t you mean capoeira hour?
Finances. When budgeting for the month the order is as follows:
Food, Capoeira, Rent, Metro card, Clothing & accessories, Utilities, Toilet paper.
Hygiene. The smell. Oh lord the smell. Piles of sweat-riddled gear is always all over the house. Its like living in the mens locker room of a gym. In our house we boil spaghetti, eggs, tea, and..clothes. Lucky for moi, i have a grade A fiancé who loves to do laundry and i love to watch him do laundry. Laundry is a weekly activity for us..a change from my once a month trip to the basement in search of dryer sheets.
Television. Who needs TV when you can analyze hours upon hours of taped capoeira footage and YouTube clips off the internet?
Music skills. Thanks to what seems to be fate, I am back at playing with a metal string (arame) and a piece of wood, AKA, the Berimbau. Its such a simple instrument, yet it is surprisingly difficult. B/c of the berimbau, i now have an extra strong (and numb) pinky finger and incredible rock hunting abilities.
Games. Roda time means multiple 30 second performances featuring you and one other person in front of the entire class. This is where you demonstrate your mad skills. No pressure or anything.
As bad as I make it sound, I really love it. It’s refreshing and challenging. Learning all the time and being out of my element makes me surprisingly happy. Better than PIE on some days. And i fucking LOVE PIE. xoxoxooxo
Capoeira is awesome. Even if i am embarassed on a regular basis.
